:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
