Farmville is her only friend.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
