The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
