Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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