i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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