Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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