As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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