Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
