I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
