but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
