i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
