So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
