Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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