im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Panties = found
Randomize
