i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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