i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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