Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
