Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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