How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
