Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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