Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I cut my penus on the lid.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
