i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
