Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
