You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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