sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
