When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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