I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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