just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
