I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
