he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
