I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
