I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
