um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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