dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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