you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
