Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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