K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
