I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
