i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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