If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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