My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
