he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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