I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
