You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
