is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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