I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
