That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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