My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
