im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
