I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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